Burning Bones
by Nippyeol
Summary: Jean almost lost Marco back in Trost. Without telling him how he really felt. But now he's recovering and Jean wants to be by Marco's side to protect him. He almost lost Marco once, he has to make every second count. JeanMarco
1. Chapter 1

AN: ok so this is a attack on titan JeanMarco story dedicated to my friend Cherylle for encouraging me to write this and my friend Alex for encouraging my thoughts on later chapters. This is a yaoi so if you don't like please don't read. BUT IF YOU DO LIKE PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN/SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR THERE WOULD BE LESS TITANS AND MORE WIENERS.

Also just FYI this is a very short chapter. The rest will most likely be longer. Whoever point of view it is in will be listed at the beginning of the chapter. Thank you 3

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Marco:

Pain. Numbness. Mumbling. Pain. Numbness. Mumbling. It was my endless cycle of hell for the last. . .five minutes? Five days? Five years? It's hard to tell in this empty void I've been floating in. last I remember is moving in to take down the 10m class titan pursuing Jean back in Trost. Then emptiness. Unbearable emptiness. What the hell happened? Where's the rest of the 104th squad? Where's Jean? Where am I? I pick up in the mumbling again and this time I use all my energy to focus on it.

"His wounds seem to be recovering very nicely. Better than expected.." This voice is an unfamiliar man, he sounds careful and precise, as if he rehearsed these words but doesn't believe them. I wonder who he is talking about, who he is talking to. He can't mean me, I'm not even sure I'm alive at this point.

"But when will he wake up, Doctor Jaegar?" is the man's stiff sounding reply. This man sounds strangely familiar, and hoarse as if he's been crying. I sympathize for him, for myself. After a few tense seconds this. . .Doctor Jeagar. . .answers,

"Jean. ." how did I not recognize the voice as Jean's, my own best friend? "We're still not sure when or if he'll ever wake up. ." Jean inhales sharply and after a moment he slowly, agonizingly slowly, exhales, as if in pain. I want to reach out and comfort him, to make him forget his hurt, but there are two things standing in my way. One, I'm still floating in this endless oblivion. Two, I can't see or feel him, much less myself. Hearing Jean hurt is a hundred times worse than my own pain, so I decide to let it take me over for a while, just until I circle back around into the numbness for the. . .second time? Twentieth time? Two hundredth time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This time when the mumbling came back around I didn't have to strain or struggle to hear it. Everything instantly came into focus for me. It was both exhilarating and frightening. I was more than elated to be somewhat aware but horrified that all I could hear was quiet, concealed sobbing. It was Jean. I could feel it. Every intake of breath, every sniffle, every small hiccup was undeniably Jean. Just as I was about to try calling out for him he spoke, almost as if he knew I could hear him,

"M-Marco. . .p-please wake up. . .I n-need you to w-wake up. . .p-please. . ." Saying my heart dropped would be an understatement. My heart plummeted to the deepest depths and shattered. What was Jean talking about? I wasn't asleep? Was I? I have to find a way to tell him I'm perfectly fine, I'm right here.

"Jean?" I try, testing out my voice, seeing if it could still come from the mouth I no longer feel. "Jean, why are you crying?" Nothing. His uneven breathing is my only reply. "Jean? Am I dead?" still I am met with nothing. I try one last time, "Jean!"

". . .M-Marco?" it's barely a whisper but it sends jolts of hope and happiness through me. Did Jean actually hear me? Where is he? I want to see him so badly. Suddenly the pain rings around, more vicious than ever before. It surges through me with so much force and power I can actually feel my body again. The intensity causes my back to arch up and my eyes, which I didn't realized were closed till now, fly open as I gasp out the only thing that flies through my brain,

"JEAN!" I fall back onto a soft surface and look around gasping for air, taking in my new found surrounding. There off to the right, just beside me, my eyes make contact with a watery golden pair, wide with disbelief. Jean. Thank god.

"MARCO!?"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: thank you to anyone who stuck around for chapter two (cough*cherylle*cough) uhm this chapter isn't as good as id like but it was hard for me to write without hurting. But yeah please read and review even if its negative, id like feedback so I can approve. Thanks guys (:

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ATTACK ON TITAN/SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN OR THERED BE LESS TITAN AND MORE WIENER.

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**Jean:**

"MACO?!" I can't believe it. He's alive and awake and staring at me with those big, warm, brown eyes and here I sit gawking like an idiot. "I can't believe you're finally awake!" and I can't. I fling my arms around him in a fierce hug just to make sure he's real. Suddenly I remember there is a very real chance I'm hurting him with the condition he's in and quickly release my grip. He looks pained and immediately I regret being so rash.

"Marco, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? Let me go get Doctor Jaegar, he'll have something you can take for the pain. I'll be right back." I get up and head for the door, but before I can get halfway there his voice stops me.

"Jean." I turn and look at him, giving the voice I haven't heard in what seemed like forever my full attention, careful to avoid staring at the right half of his face. "Why can't I feel my arm? I wanted to hug you but only my left arm would move." My mind and body freeze over instantly. I feel my expression harden as I take in the worry marring his features. Shit. How do I tell him? ". . . Jean?"

"Yes Marco?" I answer, my voice now void of all emotion. I pray to the god I gave up on in Trost he doesn't ask the question I can see forming on his lips.

"Jean. Where am I? What happened?" Shit. He looks nervous, but his eyes won't leave mine. Those soft, brown eyes I've missed in the days he's been asleep. I struggle to find the right words to say to him, my eyes stray to the right half of his body, still covered in bandages for the most part. It's imperative I tread carefully.

"Marco, can you move?" I watch carefully, gauging his reaction. He looks very confused but tests out his motion. First his toes wiggle, then his legs, followed by his fingers and finally his arm. That's when I see the panic set in.

"J-Jean?! Why can't I move my right arm? I can't move my head either, Jean!" fear is flicking through his eyes along with tears forming in the corners, threatening to overflow. My stoic expression hardens even more. "J-Jean what's going on? Where am I?" He throws the words at me with an implied accusation that makes me sick. I want to run to him and wipe away the tears that had begun to fall, I want to take away his sorrow and pain, but for now I must aid to it. I only pray he forgives me.

"Marco, calm down. You're at Doctor Jaegar's house. You're safe and sound. He lent you this room for your recovery." I look around the shabby "room" Jaegar lent us. One mattress for Marco, one chair for me, two blankets, and four brown, mud walls with one dreary window. I could just _revel_ in the charity. I bring my attention back to Marco. He hasn't calmed down, the tears are flowing freely and he's quietly sniffling.

"Jean, why do I need recovery? What happened to me?" I cringe at the question, unsure of how to answer. I can't believe he doesn't remember. "Please Jean?" staring into his watery eyes I know I have to tell him no matter how much no one wants to hear it. I just don't know how to begin.

"What's the last thing you remember, Marco?"

"I-I remember the titan chasing you back in Trost. I remember moving in to take it down. Then . . . then. . ." he trailed off, unsure of how to finish and struggling to remember. I sighed and moved back to my shabby chair, it was time to fill him in and it could take a while. I let the memories flash through my head for the first time in weeks. The blood. Marco. That fucking titian. Even the blood curdling screams, mostly mine, fresh in my brain. A chill runs down my spine; if he doesn't remember ill spare him the details. He doesn't need to suffer any more than he will.

"Marco, let me help you sit up before I explain." He solemnly nods and I stand to assist him. He uses his right arm to push himself up and I help to prop him up and steady himself. When he's finally in a more comfortable position with a wider range of motion he takes a moment to inspect his surroundings. I watch as he takes in his, at most, deplorable room, then his own body. That's when he notices it. Understanding crosses his features. Then disbelief. I've been preparing myself for this moment for a month but seeing his eyes, full of hope that is wasn't true look into mine, I suddenly feel unprepared, not ready, like the responsibility has been unjustly shoved upon me.

"Jean. . . Where the _fuck_ is my arm." His voice cracks and I automatically flinch. I've never heard Marco cuss, much less at me; it cut through me like a blade. My answer comes out mechanically, well rehearsed.

"You lost it in Trost. A small price consequence Marco, it could have been your life." I adverted my eyes to the floor, and Marco didn't reply for a long time. After a couple minutes I chance looking up and notice the tears streaming down his face, the dead look in his eyes. Oh god his eyes. Once huge and so warm and inviting, now cold and unfocused, all the luster gone. Those eyes were the only place I'd ever felt at home and I'd gone without them far too long to let them die on me, to let him die on me. "M-Marco. . . You lost your arm . . . because you were protecting me. You saved me. You killed the titan chasing me seconds before I would have been devoured. . . You're a hero . . . You're my hero." I called on all my courage and pulled myself up to move to sit beside Marco, on his bed. H watched and waited for me to sit before he finally replied, barely above a whisper,

"If I took down that titan then how did I wind up here Jean?" I looked up at him at the mention of my name. At least his eyes weren't as dead anymore. I couldn't have taken telling him this next part with those empty eyes staring at me. I strengthen my resolve and let the words fall quickly from my tongue before I can chicken out.

"Marco, there was another titan, an abnormal that jumped up from below us. I turned just in time to see it and kill it before it had the chance to swallow you whole, but he still got you . . . oh god it's all my fault . . . If I would have just been more careful he wouldn't have bitten you. And when you fell to the ground, your arm and your cheek were gone and . . . the blood . . . there was so much blood, Marco . . . I thought I lost you. I used my gear and took you back to base immediately and . . . and . . ." I couldn't continue. Somewhere in the middle of my explanation I had begun to weep. I was losing myself in the memory of the day, falling fast into the nightmare. A warm hand reached out to me and pulled me back up into reality. Marco. He intertwined his fingers with mine and leaned towards me until our foreheads were touching. I was paralyzed, put in a trance by his actions. He looked into my eyes, once again they were soft and caring and warm, though still silently streaming tears, and he called out to me in a whisper that sounded like a chorus to my grief stricken heart,

"Jean. Thank you. You saved my life." I sat there dumbstruck. What was he talking about? Why was_ he_ thanking _me_?

"M-Marco? Doctor Jaegar was the one who saved you, I just brought you here." Confusion was evident in my tone. It was met only with a soft chuckle as he leaned in and softly kissed my cheek. Was he batshit insane? Marco Bodt, my best friend, just kissed me! Before I could react he backed away and let go of my hand with a small squeeze.

"How long have I been here anyways?" he was back to staring disapprovingly at the spot his arm used to be. I hastily wiped away my tears and evened out my breathing before replying.

". . . Five weeks. Your injuries healed a while ago but the blood loss sent you into a shock induced coma." I focused on my feet so I wouldn't have to see his face. I'm such a coward. "The doctor said you'll have pretty bad scarring but we've just been waiting for you to wake back up." Once again Marco fell silent for a moment, taking in everything that had been thrown at him today.

"Jean . . . I think I want to go home, I've been imposing on Doctor Jaegar for far too long . . ." I glance at Marco's face, taking in every detail. Every small, scattered freckle, every curve of his soft, pink lips, every long, black eyelash, before looking deep into his eyes, the inviting, brown eyes I had always pulled strength from, and searched, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He stared back with the same intensity as I unconsciously leaned forward, towards the man who has been my friend as long as I can remember, who has been my home, my family, until our foreheads were once again touching. My face softened this time as I reveled in the warmth this simple contact brought after almost losing him and being on edge for weeks. I brought my hand up to the back of his head, holding him there while his dark bangs tickling my check, and breathed out his awaited reply,

"You stay here and relax ok. It's been a long day for you. I'll go get Doctor Jaegar and make sure I can take you back home tomorrow. For now try to sleep, ok? I'll be back soon." And with that I released him and gingerly helped him lie back down before moving to go get Jaegar. I stopped in the door way and turned back to him, "Oh and Marco?" he looked up at me with a questioning glance, "I missed you. . ." I turned and left the room before my mind could convince me to never walk away from him again.

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Soooo.. Yeah x3 thank you for making it all the way through and please remember to leave reviews, even if it is constructive criticism. The next chapter should he here shortly and we get to see the physical side of this "friendship" ayyye so please stick around for more c:


	3. Chapter 3

AN: thank you everyone who stuck through too chapter 3! I appreciate it sooo much. This chapter is dedicated to cherylle because she made me cry at lunch XD. Well this one is, in my opinion, tremendously better than chapter 2. So please read and cry and tell me what you think, physical stuff coming up sooner or later so look out for that ok? Thanks for reading! C:

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN/SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR THERED BE LESS TITANS AND MORE WIENERS.

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**Marco:**

I was dizzy. I felt sick to my stomach. As soon as Jean left the room my head started summer salting with all the information I'd been given tonight. I'd saved Jean. But I'd also hurt him. Jean was weak and I'd left him alone for . . . how long did he say? Oh yeah . . . five weeks . . . Thirty seven days . . . eight hundred and eighty eight hours . . . Jean had been alone. And then there was my arm. I'd lost my arm. How can I get to the military police with Jean with only one arm? I worked my ass off and managed to graduate 7th in my squad, just behind Jean, so we could join the military police and move to Wall Rose together. Now what? If only I had seen the abnormal. I was dizzy with guilt, with loss, with the pain beginning to creep up my shoulder and cheek, causing the tears to fall freely for what seemed like the hundredth time today. How long have I relied on Jean, and now on Doctor Jaegar? How long will this injury cause me to rely on others? Am I even still a soldier or just a burden? I reached out with my left hand to carefully feel from my shoulder, up my neck, and to my face, where the scar should be. Although my finger tips take in every inch of the rough, uneven, marred area, half covered in bandages, the skin beneath feels nothing but a small tingle. The reality of it all crashes over me, bringing in a title wave of depression. Before I realize what's happening sobs a wracking through my body, pulling out desperate gasps for air and a pull from the tight skin on the right side of my face. I throw my arm over my mouth in a petty attempt to contain too horrible noises. Jean shouldn't hear this or have to worry; it would only make him feel guilty. I was useless to him now. Disfigured and scarred. He would leave for Wall Rose soon and I'll be alone with nothing else to live for. I never heard the footsteps coming over my forceful crying, didn't notice his presence until it was too late to try and hide. The one time in my life i didn't want to see him. Jean. Standing in the door way.

"Marco? I thought I heard something. Are you ok?" he finally takes in my shaking form with bewildered eyes as I try unsuccessfully to stop the tears. In an instant he rushes to my side, hands cupping my face and forcing me to look into his worried eyes. "Marco what happened? Why are you crying?" he tries to no avail to wipe the wet mess from my face, they're falling too fast for him to catch. I try to calm down enough to answer him and he patiently waits, his expression becoming more and more concerned. ". . . Marco?" he pleads with me for an answer. I was finally calming down enough to give it to him.

"J-Jean . . . I-I'm so u-useless . . . you should have l-let me d-die back there . . ." I manage to gasp out my words avoiding his eyes that I could feel burning into my face. When he spoke his heart broken tone forced me to look up at him,

". . . Marco . . . no . . ." his golden eyes screamed hurt at what I'd said and were watching as if I'd slapped him instead. He leaned in close, hands still around my face, trying to wipe away my tears, until he was only an inch away, before whispering, "I could never let you die, Marco. You saved me, you're all I have left." His words had caught me off guard but what he did next left me confused and with a whole new set of questions hanging on my tongue. Jean closed the distance between us and softly, cautiously, laid a chaste kiss on my lips. It was small and quick but nearly sent my heart soaring from my chest. What was Jean thinking? Why? I don't deserve anything from him. "Shhh . . . just calm down." Jean whispered as he pulled back to look at me. I looked away in embarrassment, unsure of how to react. After a moment he pulled tow little red pills from his pocket. "Take these, Doctor Jaegar said they'll help you sleep and help you with the pain. Tomorrow I'm aloud to take you home. Everything will be ok." He handed me the pills and I hastily dry swallowed them, in too much shock to speak. He helped usher me under the covers of the shabby bed, "Rest now Marco, you've had a long day." With that he got up to leave, giving me privacy to sleep. No. something compelled me to call out to him instead. I couldn't be alone. Not tonight.

"Jean!" he stopped in the doorway and looked back curiously, "Please don't leave me." His eyes softened as he silently walked back to me and shimmied up beside me. I scooted as close to his warm body as I could and grabbed his shirt for assurance that he was really there, burying my head in the crook of his shoulder. He wrapped his strong arms around me, knowing I would need the comfort tonight.

"Good night Marco." With that I proceeded to cry myself to sleep, nuzzled into my best friend, his pounding heartbeat lulling me to sleep.

_ I felt like I was suspended in time and space. Everything is moving in slow motion. I look up and there's Jean, held in midair by his 3D maneuvering gear. I can't take my eyes off him, relieved that he appears to be unharmed. But he's not looking at me, he's looking down and he's screaming my name. Confused, I follow his eyes to just below me and come face to face with the most grotesque titan I've ever seen. Time speeds back up again. There's a sickening snap and my body goes numb as I plummet to the ground far below. Jean eliminates the titan and races towards me, faster than I'd ever seen him move. The only thing I can feel is Jean's warm arms, one wrapped around my neck, supporting my head, the other wrapped around my midriff. The only thing I can see is Jean's face, contorted in pain, his brunette locks covered in red. The only thing I can hear is Jeans voice, screaming in anguish. Oh god did the titan get him? Is he hurt? Then it hits me, and I take a moment to let it sink in. the red staining the smooth sandy brown hair is blood, my blood. The tears and terrifying screams coming from him weren't of physical pain, but emotional, towards seeing me hurt. I reach up to my cheek and feel the hot sticky mess, then move my hand to Jean's face. I smiled serenely, relieved he wasn't hurt, as I ran my fingers down his jaw line and caught his attention long enough to choke out,_

_ "Jean . . . don't cry . . . you're ok." I try my best to beam at him but everything is getting fuzzy. I must look terrible because Jean looks horrified as he breathes out my name._

_ "M-Marco . . ." his breathing is uneven but my visions getting blurry, I feel nauseated now. "M-Marco?" Uh oh. Everything is beginning to fade to black. "M-Marco!" my eyelids flutter closed and my arm drops to my side but I can still hear his screaming. "MARCO! . . . MARCO!"_

"Marco!" I bolt upright, drenched in sweat and tears, frantically searching to find out where I am. I look over to find a very frightened looking Jean starring at me with wide eyes, hand firmly clasped on my shoulder. I run my fingers through the damp black hair, now matted to my face.

"Jean. You're alright." I shakily breathe out before I fling myself on him, my only arm wrapped around his back and holding to his shirt for dear life. My face pressed tight into his chest, listening to his heart beat erratically was all I needed to confirm he is ok. He is here. We are fine. Jean was not satisfied with this though, still completely worried. He grabbed my shoulders and gently pushed me back, searching my face for answers to what was going on.

"Marco what's wrong? You were crying and mumbling in your sleep." At this his face flushed bright red for some odd reason. "I was worried so I woke you up and you attack me? What happened?" he's demanding a response but I take a moment to put all my thoughts in order and wipe my eyes before I give him one.

"I just had a nightmare. Of that day . . . I remember everything now. The abnormal. Falling. All the blood . . . you crying." His mouth falls open in shock.

"You remember it?" he whispered. I give him a curt nod and his features harden. "You shouldn't have had to remember it. Jaegar said you wouldn't." he hastily throws the blanket off and stomps to the door never even looking up.

"Jean? What-" I'm more than confused at his reaction but he doesn't allow me to voice my questions.

"Marco." He snaps. "Get yourself as ready as you can. Doctor Jaegar will help with whatever you can't do alone. Then we're leaving." With that he stalks out of the room leaving me in a stunned silence. He never even glanced in my direction. I play everything over in my head trying to figure out what just happened. Where did I go wrong? What did I do? What did I say? Why did Jean shut down? I can't contemplate long before Doctor Jaegar walks in and I have to push all my questions aside for the time being. If Jean wants to be an ass then so be it. I don't care. Today I get to go back home.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The back to my house in wall Sina was agonizingly long and tense with neither Jean nor I talking. I refused to cave to him and ask him what's wrong when I did absolutely nothing to bring this about. So when we got here he helped me into my bedroom and stiffly moved off to the bathroom to wash up. I sat looking around the familiar room I'd grown accustom to and missed in the last few month of training. I thought about how I had been sharing this home with Jean for years since my parents died. How lonely would this home be when Jean left for Wall Rose? This house would be empty without him. I need to talk to him; I don't want to waste any time we had left not talking to him.

"Jean!" I yelled. "Can you please come here?" after a moment he walked into the room and my heart stopped. He was standing in the door way, looking at the floor, but I was looking at him. He had removed his shirt and his body was mine to behold. Small beads of water were rolling down his broad chest from where he'd been washing his face. His sandy hair was damp and framing his face perfectly. He looked beautiful. Wait what was I thinking? I needed to calm down. This was my best friend and we needed to talk. I averted my eyes face blushing bright red. "Jean what happened back at Jaegar's? Why did you get angry? What did I do?" he didn't answer my just slowly walked over to where I was sitting over on my bed. Sitting beside me, the bed sinking in and scooting me closer to him as he leaned over, laying his head on my shoulder.

"Marco." As he said my name a chill ran through my body and his voice cracked. Was he crying? "I'm just so worried about you." He brought his hand up to rest on my knee. "I thought I was gonna lose you in Trost, Marco." My shoulder was wet, he was definitely crying now. "I didn't want you to remember the hell that you went through like I had to." His hand had moved up my leg to mid thigh. "I was so scared Marco, you're my whole world." My heart was threatening to rip from my chest now and I could only stare at the top of his head in disbelief. He turned his head into my neck and I couldn't see his soft pink lips almost brushing across my skin. "Marco" he breathed out, warm breath ghosting across my jugular.

"Y-Yes Jean?" I whispered, unable to say more. His other arm was now running across my stomach, attaching itself to my hipbone"

"I've always thought of you as more than a friend." Me inched closer and pressed that impossibly soft mouth into the skin of my neck. Oh fuck, my hand and unconsciously moved to tangle in his hair. He pulled back and instead moved centimeters away from my face. I couldn't breathe. What was happening? My best friend was crying and running his hand up my thigh. I was so confused, I was turned on. He nervously smiled at me before he whispered, "Marco . . . I think . . . I love you." And brought his lips crashing onto mine in a mind blowing, dizzying kiss.

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AN: thanks for reading and make sure you review please c: the next chapter is very physical so please stick around xD thank you


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